too much self reflection is not a good thing honestly. go outside and plant a garden and then cook yourself a homemade dinner then mop the floors and change your sheets and take a hot shower then you won’t care so much

you’re putting magic into the world with every stitch you make, every painting you create, every note you play, every word you write. everything you create and put out into the world will touch or inspire someone. everything you keep to yourself will be special and personal, like a mosaic piece of yourself that will last forever. all the little things you created into the world will like a museum exhibit of your existence, and your own love letter to the universe.

your face has been carefully constructed, perfectly arranged. the curve of your hips and slope of your lips, the pull of your eyelids, the slightest dip in your back, they’ve been drawn through generations like a single red string to end up with you. in a way you carry the faces of your ancestors, and that alone—the fact that you are you, the fact that you’re what millions of years have brought forward—makes you worthy of life. you don’t have to be or do anything more, you don’t have to earn your breaths or heartbeats. you’re already meant to be.

Someday I will have my own place. My world won’t be confined to my room. I will stumble sleepily through the house in the morning, opening the blinds. I will sit out in the backyard and look at the stars. I will go out whenever I want to. I will survive long enough to have that.

Just read it.

people say “if you don’t lower your standards, you’re gonna end up spending your whole life alone!” like being a healthy, happy, financially independent single adult is actually worse than being stuck in an abusive and/or emotionally unfulfilling relationship with someone who isn’t willing/able to meet your needs. like no offense, but I think I’m gonna choose to be happy rather than throwing myself into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. 

stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don’t want kids that they’ll change their mind

reblog the shit outta this

I haven’t been a teenager in over a decade. Mind has yet to change on the subject.

• At 14, I told my guidance counselor that I didn’t want kids. He chuckled, patted me on the back, and informed me that when I got a little older, and I was with a guy, I would change my mind.
• At 16, my grandmother nearly had a heart attack because of her three granddaughters, myself and the youngest agreed we didn’t want to uave babies. Ever.
• At 17, my father asked about my life plan. I told him: graduate high school, get my college degree, do some traveling and writing, go for this particular job I wanted, retired around X age, take month-long vacations to places I wanted to spend time in, etc. He asked, “What about a husband? Children? Normal things a girl is supposed to think about?” My response- a husband if a man came along that could share an adventure with me, kids were a No Go. He assured me I would ‘grow up’ qnd change my mind.
• At 19, I shocked my former babysitter who had known me since I was a toddler, when I confirmed the rumour she’d heard that I didn’t want kids. She patted my mom’s arm and reassured her in a sweet voice that, “Don’t worry, girls say a lot of silly things before they meet the right fella, and wise up. She’ll give you grand babies”
• At 22, I was talking to a college professor who chuckled at my making a comment about how, “thank goodness I’m never going to have to worry about juggling child rearing eith marriage, work, and life”, then she realized I was serious. She asked if I was alright, thinking I could-not (not didn’t-want) kids. I told her the truth, could have but didn’t want to. She was aghast, then told me that I’d change my mind when my husband wanted some kids.
• Well, I’m over 30, still have absolutely no desire to give birth, adopt, raise, or have much of anything to do with children. I don’t hate children, I don’t think people who have them are crazy (more power to you, to create and/or care for another person), and I don’t think it’s impossible to have a life AND have children. I recognized at an early age that I don’t have that biological imperative to procreate, I don’t have the patience to deal with children (something that has shown very little improvement as I’ve gotten older, in fact it might be getting worse), and I don’t feel my life is incomplete without creating another life- I am good with living my own and doing my best to enrich the lives of those I care about (I try my best to be a good friend, to be a good sister, good daughter, good pet-owner, and a good person in general).

So please, please stop telling girls (or really kids at all, but especially girls) that they will change their minds. Please don’t tell them that meeting ‘the right guy’ will make them suddenly feel broody, that their potential future husband’s desire to have children will make her reconsider and see things his way. For one, a couple should have had that conversation and decided if it was a deal breaker, LONG before they got hitched. For another, it’s her body that gets to grow and birth another human being- her husband’s desire to be a father doesn’t supercede her autonomy.

Please, let girls make their own choices? Girls are forced to mature too fast as it is and are bombarded from all sides with SHOULD (you SHOULD be a size 2, you SHOULD wear this dress, you SHOULD have a boyfriend to be a normal teen, you SHOULD always smile), they don’t need another judgement from someone who hasn’t walked a mile in their particular shoes. Respect teenage girls and their ability to look at the world, themselves, their situation, and their future, and make an important choice.

*gets off soap box, slides it back under the sofa, lets out a sigh*

Thanks for attending my TED talk. G'night.

it might have been difficult but you're so much stronger than you think! i believe in you. you are going to get through this.

Do u ever not realize how starved for affection u are till someone hugs u a bit tighter than normal and you find that you really don’t want to let go

Touch starvation is actually a thing. The term for it that’s emerging in medical/psych circles is “skin hunger”. We as humans are meant to be much more social- and especially physically social - than we actually are, and Americans in particular are often touch starved because the casual, platonic contact that often happens between friends in other places just. Does not happen here.

There’s a really Puritan idea that’s pervaded our culture, that touch and sex are inherently linked, and it’s doing us a massive disservice. Touch is incredibly important for humans- hugs reduce blood pressure, cuddling releases oxytocin, and babies will straight up DIE without being touched enough because the stimulation releases hormones that are integral to their healthy development.

We were never meant to hold one another at arm’s length, and if you feel you need physical contact, don’t be afraid to ask for it! Hug your mom. Cuddle a friend on the couch. Ask. There’s a good chance that they need contact just as much as you do.

person: what’s wrong with you

me: i have the Skin Hunger

Admit you were wrong. Apologize. Understand that you’re fallible. You make mistakes. You hurt people. Apologize. That’s growth; understanding you did something wrong and working towards making things right.